Did driveway camping at my parent's place and they DIDN'T like it!

Discussion in 'Let me tell you about my trip' started by SuzieQ, Oct 12, 2011.

  1. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    We went to my parent's place for Thanksgiving weekend which is about a four and a half hour drive away. I come from a large family and figured there would not be enough room for all of us to stay in the house so we brought our camper...plus it gave us an excuse to stay in it one last time before it's put away for the season. I asked my mom before hand if it would be ok...got some awkward silence on the phone, but then she said it would be ok. Later find out my parent's noses were put out of joint because we wouldn't stay in their house!...they do have a mold issue that they are in total denial about!...didn't want to subject ourselves or our son to that! They have 2 large driveways and we put our camper in the one they never use so it wasn't taking up their parking spot or anything.. ..just wondering if we were wrong to do this and if anyone has come across similar situations with family members...thanks for allowing me to vent!
     
  2. Shaman1

    Shaman1 Member

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    May 13, 2011
    Sorry it didn't go well. When we have a lot of people from out of town, we set the pup & TT both up. All of the kids ask to stay in the pup.
     
  3. RotnMom

    RotnMom Am I there yet?

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    I don't think that's a tough one. I feel your mom is being a little defensive. [:!]

    We've already told our family in FL that if we can ever make it down there together, we're bringing the PUP!! Pop keeps his house at 80 degrees plus...and I can't take that, not with the humidity down there! And all of them have begged us to set it up in THEIR driveway! Maybe we should sell them lottery tickets...who gets us what night! [LOL]

    But yeah, I wish you luck on 'fixing' the situation. Gotta be firm though... [;)]

    [:D]
     
  4. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    My parents have never camped so I just don't think they get it! I got into camping when I met my husband...he went camping with his parents and siblings as a child..they had a pop up. Our niece spent a night driveway camping with us and had a ball!...guess you can't please everyone!
     
  5. Nascar Fan

    Nascar Fan Active Member

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    Washington, PA
    You can pick your friends, but not your family [A] Best of luck with this one!
     
  6. mike1wade

    mike1wade Want to Dark Side

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    you would think they would be happy to have you there no matter what. it's family turn the cheek. my nephew in Wisconsin has a pup for guests specifally for their visit bottom line, nothing like a familiar mattress for a good nite sleep. I would have done what you did!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. fmbhappycamper

    fmbhappycamper PuP Power

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    Aug 27, 2010
    Make it an annual tradition [8D]
     
  8. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    I know, mike1wade! that's what we were thinking!...it is not very often that all of my family can get together at the same time... you think they would be happy, but they just seemed annoyed by it...I always feel sad and disappointed on the drive home. On the upside..myself and my 5 sisters have a blast when we all get together. We were going to go home for Christmas, but that's not going to happen now...will not go where I don't feel we're wanted... [:(]
     
  9. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    To fmbhappycamper...you made me laugh....thanks!! :)
     
  10. hollymic

    hollymic New Member

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    Aug 24, 2011
    Well first off I give you kudos for asking them if it was/is all right for you to do this. They have the option of telling you "no it's not all right with us". I also have to agree with the others that said that it's a family get together and that they ought to be glad that everyone can come. So with what it is worth just keep doing the right thing and asking, well anyone that you want to go and visit and do this, ask them a head of time. To be polite. :grin:
     
  11. 4x2x2Kx2

    4x2x2Kx2 3 Nights Camped in '12--but many more to go!

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    Aug 17, 2011
    SuzieQ, I feel you were entirely OK with your approach and it is a shame this is how things turned out. Don't second guess yourself. :)

    Love my parents dearly and for most of my years have always gotten along well with them--they're both in good health @ 70 & 66 but dang if they're not set in their ways to the point that the DD (she's 8) even asked the last time "What's wrong with Nana and Papaw? They don't act like they want us there anymore." This comment from the DD was after a 4 hour visit as the two of us were passing through TN near Mom & Dad on other travels, so not even like we had overstayed a visit.

    I can tell you that we have struggled in the past with Mom's "You can stay here" for what has never been more than a one-night stay that quickly became a decision we have regretted (crazy, undisciplined dog in the house--being treated like we're in the way/disrupting things--heat kept close to 80--etc.) I respect it's their house and they are not going to change at this point, so I've sadly had to table our visits as the PUP wouldn't be an option (GASP! [:O] What would the neighbors think?!?!?!?)--we no longer feel welcome in the house for more than a few hours--and our home is 'too far to drive to' in their opinion (2-1/2 hrs).

    If you know you've done what you can, just remember that even if you give it 100% effort that's still only 1/2 of the equation. Sleep well with a clear conscious.
     
  12. bigdad

    bigdad Active Member

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    Springfield Kentucky
    Having read your post you did the right thing by asking and your mom said it would be ok. so you should not weary about it. my stepmom had that kinda the same problem i had to go down for my dad funeral back in 05 it was in Oct he lived in Brevard N.c house full of people and my brother and his wife my stepmom wanted me and him to stay in the guest house me and my kids stayed in the camper at Koa in Asheville so i said i would bring my pop up and that was that.
     
  13. Camp-N-Nuts

    Camp-N-Nuts KrustyKamper

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    Central WI
    I'm old and you made me think I missed Thanksgiving!!!! [LOL] Well, I know how my mom is...she would love to have us...and thank the day we left! [A]
     
  14. Spridle

    Spridle Member

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    Jun 6, 2011
    The idea of us rolling up to my MIL's Williamsburg, VA home with our frumpy old camper has me in tears. She'd probably have a coronary before I even had the emergency brake on!
     
  15. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    Thanks for you response, 4x2x2kx2....is it possible we were separated at birth, and have the same parents!! It really struck a cord with me when you mentioned...what will the neighbors think! I believe this is one of the main reasons why my parents didn't want us setting up our camper in their driveway! Like your parents, mine are very set in their ways too..you're right...my effort is only half of the equation..unfortunately, I don't think they get this..like your parents, mine don't come to visit us either..will only come my way if they have an appt. with a medical specialist that they do not have access to where they live. I wish things were different, but I guess I have to accept it is what it is!....thanks again!
     
  16. 1madscot

    1madscot Member

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    Nov 6, 2010
    OK, I'll be the dissenter here...let the arrows fly...

    I don't think you did anything wrong, your mother did agree to the pup in the drive. She is being a little overly sensitive to a great way to get everyone together and not crowd the house.

    Here's the down side...

    "...will not go where I don't feel we're wanted... [:(] "

    Please don't be to hard on her for this. My mother has Alzheimers, would give anything for her to be able to remember beyond 5 minutes ago, and a month ago we buried my sister and brother-in-law together. We never know what tomorrow will hold. Any chance you get to be with loved ones, to make new memories, take it. This will pass into the obscurity of time, don't let it keep you from your family at the holidays. You may regret for much longer than you think.
     
  17. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    Thanks, 1madscot...first of all, I'm sorry for your losses. I totally agree with what you're saying ...that we should take any opportunity to spend time with our loved ones...so why don't my parents get this?..this is not an isolated incident..each visit turns out the same way..with disappointment and sadness..feeling like your visit is nothing but a burden to them ...my sisters share the same view...we really didn't cause them TOO much heartache over the years and are pretty good people! ...I don't know what the solution is...I do not want to have regrets
     
  18. Spridle

    Spridle Member

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    Jun 6, 2011
    Well now that this has turned serious...

    Spending time with family is important but sometimes the price can be too high. We tried every way possible to make the holidays work, especially when we had kids of our own. But time is short, life is short and we are now ready to sit at home and enjoy our home and family on the holidays instead of trying to please everyone else but ourselves. Selfish, probably, but we had some of our best holidays ever last year after making that decision.

    We still travel but it's far less and we've set some ground rules that have ruffled a few feathers.
     
  19. SuzieQ

    SuzieQ New Member

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    Jul 26, 2011
    Hey Spridle ...didn't want this thread to turn into a downer, but sometimes it's good to get viewpoints from those looking in from the outside....responses posted have been very helpful...and my posts have been cathartic for me....thanks
     
  20. RAGAR Family

    RAGAR Family Member

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    Sep 19, 2011
    This thread reminds of that great quote...

    That there Clark is an RrrVeee, don't get too attached to it we will be takin it with us when we leave here next month.

    [LOL]

    Anyway funny thing is my MILs lives about an hour south of us and now that we are PUP owners we are planning on simply staying at a CG next time we find ourselves having to go there for a night or two. There house won't comfortably hold my hole family.
     

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