Dealing With Prejudices While Camping

Discussion in 'The Woodshed' started by Becky Roque, Sep 11, 2020.

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  1. Amy Bane

    Amy Bane New Member

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    I had never thought of that being an issue camping. Everyone goes camping it doesn't matter who I guess if you were near someone racist then it could be a problem the same as if you were anywhere near a racist. I come from a diverse family so I don't care who is camping next to me we are all equal.
     
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  2. Amanda G Balderas

    Amanda G Balderas New Member

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  3. Amanda G Balderas

    Amanda G Balderas New Member

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    I hate that we even have to have this conversation. I think right at this moment his fear/thoughts are real. I really believe it depends on where you are at in the county. I am very good friends with a gay couple and they also are very careful where they camp. I am sorry you as a couple are going through this. You guys would be fine along the beach in so cal. Come on out!
     
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  4. J Starsky

    J Starsky Well-Known Member

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    I dunno about all that jazz... I had the nicest couple of gals camping next to us in Custer. They did a ton of hiking - and on a rain day, they hadn't come back so I flipped their camp chairs upside down under a tree, and moved a couple camp items around (even had the dual foldy chairs cute couples buy) They were so happy I did that, because minding my own is easy, that they gave me left over bacon when they cooked, knowing I had a fridge to store it in. Lesbian Bacon is the best bacon, by far.

    Earlier this summer, I camped by a pretty cool black dude and his family. They had a PUP but this was the 1st trip with the hybrid. He wanted to see how that awning needed to go back up while I was packing up, so glad I slowed down and he did it together.

    I think you BF's hang ups are just that - your BFs hangups. He's got experiences that make him hold back, and I get that. Only more good experiences can wash the bad off....
     
  5. Jimbow

    Jimbow Well-Known Member

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    If there is one thing over the years that living and working in an area where I was the minority taught me is the majority doesn't see the attitude.

    I can't dismiss your boyfriend's feelings and I'm not going to say he's just looking for excuses. I've seen Confederate flags in campsites which would not be a welcoming image. I've known folks that just like to be left alone,if he says hello and they ignore him, he's going to wonder why? People tend to people watch while camping. From backing in, through setting up and what are they cooking, to packing up. He'll wonder why is everyone looking.

    If he goes I can understand him being stressed and feeling out of place. Hopefully y'all have friendly neighbors like the folks here and he can relax.
     
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  6. WNC camper

    WNC camper New Member

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    A terrific group that provides awesome info is
    blackfolkscamptoo.com
    They have a website & fb grp. My husband camped with the owner this summer & they are great
     
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  7. Matt D Wilder

    Matt D Wilder Member

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    So the guy that comes from poverty does not want to go back and live like he is poor again? Are you hoping to bring back all the fond memories of homelessness after a hurricane? The biracial card play was just to shut you up about it. Even if you did badger him onto going the biggest problem would be he does not want to be there. Then after 2 days of you 2 yipping at each other your neighbors would treat you different. Fortunatly race would have nothing to do with it. The experience is the same for everyone who takes someone camping that does not want to go.
     
  8. Darlene Richard

    Darlene Richard New Member

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    Believe your boyfriend that racism IS a thing. It can occur anywhere - when renting an apartment, jogging in a community, even birdwatching in Central Park. Your boyfriend has surely experienced it. On the other hand, I suspect he is too brave to let this ugly possibility dictate his life. After all, he chose you <3. As a person in a biracial relationship myself, we feel more comfortable in state and national campgrounds. Over the years we've added so many convenient upgrades that camping is not as much work as it used to be making it easier to enjoy God's beautiful creation. Hope to see you out there.
     
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  9. Debrab

    Debrab New Member

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    You will find most campers are friendly and helpful.. we have experienced all types of campers..and have never heard or seen anyone being ugly etc to each other..we are seniors.
    been camping for ALONG time..we feel like camping people they're just outdoorsy people who relate to other outdoorsy people...every time we have ever camped, we have had folks walk over and talk, wave while walking, always smiling or they will stay to themselves, no worries...please go and enjoy the joy of camping and the outdoors.. its worth it..
     
  10. Adam Peeples

    Adam Peeples New Member

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    First, free country, go where you want. If you've never been an a-hole ever yourself, then I can see where there's an issue - but I assume you have, likely plenty of times like the rest of us at times. That being the assumption - sometimes people suck, overlook it and go on with enjoying your life, and just pass it off as that person's turn at being an a-hole to you, just like you've likely been to others in the past. It's just life, nothing to worry about, and we've all been on both sides of that coin. Thick skin, isn't as important as simple awareness of basic humanity in a world of 9B people. Real harassment or the like, is a thing of the past. In case you run into the 1/1M exception, that's why there's 2A...

    Otherwise: RV/Camper camping vs Primitive Backpacker Camping are most often two different worlds. RV campers are where you might have a tiny chance of running into that mildly offensive but fully ignorable a-hole, but backpackers are most always hippy-ish, and I'd give you $1000 next time you let me know a backpacker camper gave you real trouble.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
  11. don evans

    don evans New Member

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    Sounds like an excuse not to go, and a pretty piss poor one at that. Tell him to man up and get the real answer and not some BS excuse of phoney racism
     
  12. ckrapp

    ckrapp New Member

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    I'm a white woman married to a while man so obviously I have never experienced racism. I've camped all across the country in tents and in campers. Having seen my fair share of confederate flags and angry drunks (rednecks and not), I can understand his unease. He very well may have no interest in camping for a million reasons, but fear of racism shouldn't be dismissed as an excuse. I take him at his word and you should too. You've been given some good advice (and had some odd backlash that suggests something I can't put my finger on).

    I would ask for a compromise and offer him the chance to tiptoe into camping while still honoring his boundaries. Why not arrange a camping trip with a few friends, choose a campground that has large sites with distance between each site. Book your friends sites together. Then ask if your boyfriend would be comfortable coming for the day/early evening, then he can go home. That way he can get a feel for camping with a smaller amount of risk. Do that a couple of times if he is willing. I have several friends who fell in love with camping this way. They got there, had fun and said, man, I don't want to leave. I wish I had brought a tent/camper, etc.

    Then if this works and he is willing to try a trip of actual camping, I would again choose a campground with nice large sites, spaced well. California has plenty everywhere. (I'm jealous.) I think that boondocking alone would be nerve-wracking for someone already scared. At least in a campground, there are others around and amenities. At least that's my take.

    He may never like it and that's ok too. Honoring each others' boundaries is part of a relationship. Or, worse case scenario, it's a situation where you love something and can't imagine giving it up for a guy and you break up.

    This is a good reminder to offer a kind word when we can when camping with someone who may feel uncomfortable. It's never a bad idea to let someone know there is an ally nearby.
     
  13. Luck7s717

    Luck7s717 Member

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    I would say that in my experiences campers in general are a pretty good bunch. Especially if you frequent the same campground often enough to get to know the "regulars". I would aay that there are no more or no less small minded people in camping as compared with the rest of the world.
     
  14. BostonDad

    BostonDad Member

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    Bi-racial couples get noticed. Period. I’ve dated many black women over the years and I’ve certainly felt the looks. It’s all about being respectful and confident. Have confidence and be respectful of other campers and nobody will mess with you.
     
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  15. jpCamper

    jpCamper New Member

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    I agree with the many posters before that his is a valid concern. I've camped all over the US and in many parts of Canada and Mexico and there were nights and places that I would not care to revisit and didn't feel safe, welcome or at least comfortable even though as a priviledged white male those places are the exception rather than the rule for me. The reality is that I am picky about where my family and I camp and I carefully select places to camp that feel and are safe, comfortable and enjoyable for us. I'm pretty sure that most campers spend time and effort selecting campsites that work well for them but we may not even recognize that they do this or how big of a role it plays in how much they enjoy, or don't enjoy camping.

    Following the above one thing you may be able to do to make camping work for your boyfriend would be to spend some time scouting campgrounds and campsites to learn if he prefers any, etc.. Plan some outings to go visit campgrounds or campsites in advance of staying at them to feel them out. If you are ever traveling in an area that you may want to return to with the camper research and scout out campgrounds if possible while in the area. If you can't get there in person carefully read reviews, consider the location and the pictures/etc. but that's harder and doesn't always work out since your preferences don't always match those of the reviewers. Also have back-up plans in case a new campground doesn't work out to avoid feeling stuck. Your selection process will likely cover the obvious like cleanliness, aesthetic appeal, activities, expected weather, etc. and will also include less tangible factors like how comfortable you expect to feel socially/culturally, etc.

    The way I see it, any concerns about camping are valid as camping is typically an optional activity. If you can respect any prospective camper's concerns and camp in a place and way that tries to accommodate them then you may have a great time. If there is buy-in and reasons for everyone involved to be motivated to camp that will smooth over the inevitable challenges and rough spots to some extent. As mentioned above maybe you can connect camping with other activities that he is into? Use camping as a way to visit friends or family you don't get to see often enough? Use camping as a way to visit an area he's interested in? etc. California offers a lot of diversity and amazing beauty and it seems likely that you can find a place, time and way to camp that can work well for both you and your boyfriend.
     
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  16. #iluvoutdoors

    #iluvoutdoors Member

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    If it’s about not liking camping. Which I hope it is. I believe we all give excuses when we don’t want to do something at one time or another. My husband likes camping but not the same way I do. But we still go. He might like to camp in the city, somewhere with hook-ups or Somewhere close to a lot of amenities. Someone else mentioned going with friends which is a great idea. It gives him a reason to go and a reason to love it after u are there. I love The Pop Up Princess they use their PUP to go to all the places they want to visit whether it’s in the mountains or the city. You should look up her trip to Tennessee. It’s easy to find if u google her.
     
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  17. Nikwho

    Nikwho New Member

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    Did your boyfriend state that he was worried about racial issues, or is that purely your concern? It sounds like he just doesn't want to go camping. It sounds like it might just remind him of difficult times, and doesn't sound like recreation to him. Hopefully you are not turning him not wanting to camp into a racial issue. That would only create tension between the two of you. Camping is not about race, unless people want to force it to be. I've camped with people of all colors, in many countries, and I have never, ever seen any sort of issue in any camp ground regarding race. I've seen issues arise because of people being drunk/loud/disrespectful, etcetera, but that is irrelevant to this topic. One of my family's close friends is a retired black man, and thoroughly enjoys camping in all corners of this country. He has never even so much as suggested an issue with race.

    Camping is about relaxing, and escaping. People aren't camping to go find trouble. People go camping to get away from this sort of drama. If you guys go camping, I'm sure that you'll enjoy it and have no issues, at least in a camp ground! But, if he doesn't want to do it, I would respect that.

    I hope that you guys get out camping and have a lot of fun, if you guys choose to go. I would think that he would at least owe it to YOU to try it at least once. You guys may fall in love with it! Good luck!
     
  18. Nikwho

    Nikwho New Member

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    I respectfully disagree, but only with your last sentence. I think that there are far fewer small minded people, that would vocalize or act upon any biased feelings or bigotry. People that camp are trying to get out and relax. You just will not come across NEARLY the amount of confrontational, small minded people while camping. At least nowhere that I've ever been, and I have camped all across North America, Central America, Europe and parts of Eastern Asia.

    Go camping! Its an amazing way to get away from all of the other BS going on in the world right now!
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2020
  19. Castle Nut

    Castle Nut New Member

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  20. blmathews8

    blmathews8 Member Silver Supporting Member

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    Based on 3 pages of posts, I'm not sure I can offer too much more, but I'll share a little nonetheless. My wife (white) and I (black) live in Arkansas and camp frequently with our multiracial daughter. In fact, Labor Day weekend we took several of our Vietnamese friends camping with us (group size 10). We attracted quite a few more looks, but nothing I would perceive as prejudicial. How often do you see, black, white, asian people camping in a large group!?!? Plus, we had the best smelling food in camp!

    Anecdotally, we've never experienced any aggression, hostility, rudeness, prejudice but I'm sure others have. Based on the comments, most people are very respectful and friendly to you if you are the same to them. We rarely see couples that look like us camping, but they/we are out there! :) I'm always aware of where we camp and try to scope out the community before we go, but that's a precaution wherever I go. On a few occasions, I've had people that refused to look me in the eyes when passing at common areas or at the boat ramp, but without directly interacting with someone, its difficult to perceive it. I know I typically don't make eye contact with someone coming out of the bathroom.

    Given the social unrest and social justice issues being in the news, I can understand someone being reluctant to go camping. I also understand, "I camped growing up out of necessity and never want to do it again."
     
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