Dealing With Prejudices While Camping

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saxjonz

New Member
Aug 24, 2020
2
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?
I just saw this: You live in California, I doubt anyone really cares and for sure you wouldn't have to deal with racism. Now, if you lived in Texas (we had a very scary experience there with our child as I think they hate mixing the races [some, not all]) or Georgia, any of those southern states (most are very friendly) there are always people who are extremely racist. I have had to deal with this (my wife is biracial brasilian). It hurts but shallow minds do not account for the majority of people.
I read one comment that people, if they are honest, inherently have prejudice in them, while it is true that it's a natural self-preservation feeling (one that was instilled in us from our parents who say you can't trust strangers) I don't feel that way about others. It all depends upon how you were raised. If your community is predominately white I could see this. So, for most, you were brought up to be weary. Stupid stereotypes of other cultures.
All of that said, you all have to understand that you are already out there in public. How does that feel? It's going to be no different camping. California, I wouldn't concern myself with at all. I am sure there would be no issues whatsoever with anyone. Just try it out and if you will see that it is not any different. Campers are probably much nicer than normal population.
 

albarrus

New Member
Aug 11, 2020
3
Albuquerque, NM
My wife is visibly and audibly Mexican, and sure, that can be an issue for some people, and she feels much safer when I'm with her. I'm a big blond mormon guy. I'm always trying to drag my wife into camping, that's why I got a pup.
I will second that within the RVing community there seems to be a more of a white rural American vibe. I went to a local RV supply store, and someone in the parts department was wearing a MAGA hat, I don't know in what world it's OK to wear a partisan political hat, but I guess I had never been on the RV scene.
I work for the federal government in a public lands agency/bureau. It's known that there's a lack of diversity, both in the professional and recreation side of wildlands conservation. I guess since we live in New Mexico there are a ton of Latinos camping out here, and anglos and hispanics have been marrying for several generations that we feel at home.
I guess it would be great to go camping with another couple, even better would be another mixed couple.
 

richnyo

Member
Feb 12, 2015
16
I'm Hispanic and my husband is Native American. Sometimes it does feel weird when no one else looks like you, but it's something I let pass. We have flags that we fly on our site. One is a Canadian one with an Indian on it the other is a Mexican flag and in the center our American flag. We've actually had more people complain to us about having a Canadian flag. My it was my husband's dad's flag. I was very nervous the first time we flew my Mexican flag but I was surprised to find most people came over to ask if I was a good cook and how they love Mexican food. I find campers usually try to relate and be friendly. The watching is weird at first but that isn't racism that just what all the campers do. Don't get me wrong racism does exist but I find in most campgrounds people are just trying to relax and mind their business.
 
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eno45

New Member
Jun 27, 2019
8
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?

Of course most all of us know racism is wrong. I would encourage people to stop watching TV shows like "What would you do" or much of the current day TV "programming" as it simply reinforces the false narratives that everyone is racist, sexist or intolerant. The US really isn't this scary place where people aren't accepted as people. Yes there are racist people just I don't believe they are on the levels as what some would like us to believe. The problem is people might have disagreements on certain social issues and vote certain ways and that can be taken as hatred or bigoted by irrational shallow intolerant people. Generally what I have found is those that claim others are racist can sometimes be the ones that make race a constant issue. I am not saying the OP is this but in general this is what I see as of late. Be very mindful on what we consume as news because it really does shape our outlooks on life.

To Becky I would simply say don't let the fear of possible bigoted people affect your recreation. Also don't let fear go out of control and turn to paranoia because you are the one that will suffer from the lack of peace in your life. Society as a whole doesn't have a issue with biracial couples.

Last we live in one of the least racist countries in the world and we must not let the current narratives bring us down into this false worldview that there is a racist around every corner or that every person who doesn't vote/think the same is a racist. There is a agenda by some to make race and sex the priority issue of the day as a way to divide people and put people into groups. Most people are quite tolerant of others, don't follow the false narrative. :)
 
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JimPH

Member
Jul 19, 2018
23
Apple Valley, MN
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?
 

JimPH

Member
Jul 19, 2018
23
Apple Valley, MN
I truely don't think it's an issue. Again, the issues are more about camping etiquette. Keep the noise down (that includes generators), keep the bright lights down, (most campers like to look at the stars at night), and clean up after yourself. But most importantly you are there to enjoy the beautiful outdoors so hike, bike, cook over an open fire, enjoy the night sky and relax.
 

debbyinkc3

Member
Jan 3, 2020
13
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?
I was recently with another couple at a campground who made the comment , "oh look, a black family camping, you dont see that very often!" I guess I had never paid attention, but dont let him keep you from camping for THAT reason......there are plenty of us out there that dont care what color you are, or who you choose to love! once you get him around a fire, with a cold beer, he will see.......
 

saxjonz

New Member
Aug 24, 2020
2
Could it be that your boyfriend is small-minded? If we were camping next to you would your boyfriend be judging us that we are freaking out that "oh my god, a biracial couple is camping next to us, what should we do, what should we do!!"
I find this post insulting and demeaning to the camping community that is innocently enjoying nature and appreciative of those who are there for the same reason.
"Fears of dealing with small minded people"??? I am sorry but you have no idea what I have done in my life, where I have been, and what I believe to judge me because of your self-imposed fears.
This little man with big fears of what you assume other campers think is the problem. What do you think I'm going to do, go to the office and demand this biracial couple be kicked out of the campground? Or should we make the rounds to every campsite to see if there is a biracial couple that we need to apologize for their assumption that they need to fear what we think about them???
My God! Get a backbone!
You have no idea! You may be offended but this is REAL. I went on a motorcycle rally in Georgia and at the time we had our 9 month old son with us. Everyone at the place was excited that I was bringing my family and we got a spot inside of the house with the owners...that is until we pulled into the campground. When we got there we were told we couldn't stay at the house. You don't have to worry about things of this nature apparently. So, please understand that while you may feel offended, this comment wasn't aimed at you and you should not take affront to it. While in Texas fueling up in some very small out of the way place, because my son had to go to the bathroom, we got ugly stares. When I went in to pay for the gas I said good morning to the cashier. No eye contact and no reply. While you may not be the reason why he is weary, he does have a good reason to be concerned about ignorant people. All it takes is one jackhole to ruin the day.
 

Volly

Member
Jul 13, 2020
30
Simple suggestion: Why don't you camp in your yard so he can see how it is like, and if there is any issues, it is easy to fix.
 

firepit

Super Active Member
Feb 26, 2020
2,723
Go without him....I go by myself when the wife doesn't feel like going.
We have a campground 15 miles from home and sometimes she just comes and visits when it starts getting colder out.
Go close to home and he can come visit if he wishes.
My wife is not into camping like me but she never keeps me from going
by myself.
I enjoy the solitude more sometimes.
 
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valdez

New Member
Sep 12, 2020
1
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?
First let me state that I’m 70 yrs old, and I’ve been camping my whole life. I was widowed at 31, my 1st husband and I drove coast to coast semi-truck, and we didn’t do much camping, due to time constraints. After his death, I moved back to the midwest from CA, with my 2 kids. I got back into camping, and haven’t stop since. I remarried at 40, and he had never camped, but because he loved us, he gave it a shot. It took me a few years to figure out why his heart wasn’t in it, and I told him I wouldn’t drag him along anymore, he was relieved! Me too! You see, he enjoys staying at home, in his familiar surroundings. He enjoys going to visit family that live 3-4 hrs away, and stay at their house. Where as I would rather stay at a nearby motel or campground; my family or his. I like camping for the solitude, he hates it for that reason. When the kids left home, I still ‘needed’ to go camping, so I went alone. The first couple times were very different, and let me tell you ... people have lots to say about a woman camping alone. But, I don’t care, I enjoy it and will continue. I’ve been tenting it for a few years, cause my car is too small to pull the pop-up. The pop-up has now become our seasonal backyard camper for friends to camp in. And I have a small ALiner to camp in, which is prefect. My husband has some early dementia issues, and even if the pandemic wasn’t keeping him home, that’s where he likes to be .. his garage, his dog, familiar neighbors and surroundings. So, maybe your husband just doesn’t have a wandering spirit, and that’s ok. Come camping with me.
 

1380ken

Super Active Member
Nov 7, 2013
2,928
Mass
You have no idea! You may be offended but this is REAL. I went on a motorcycle rally in Georgia and at the time we had our 9 month old son with us. Everyone at the place was excited that I was bringing my family and we got a spot inside of the house with the owners...that is until we pulled into the campground. When we got there we were told we couldn't stay at the house. You don't have to worry about things of this nature apparently. So, please understand that while you may feel offended, this comment wasn't aimed at you and you should not take affront to it. While in Texas fueling up in some very small out of the way place, because my son had to go to the bathroom, we got ugly stares. When I went in to pay for the gas I said good morning to the cashier. No eye contact and no reply. While you may not be the reason why he is weary, he does have a good reason to be concerned about ignorant people. All it takes is one jackhole to ruin the day.
You should put a description of your camper in your signature.
 

giadiep

Active Member
Sep 5, 2015
494
Syracuse, NY
First let me state that I’m 70 yrs old, and I’ve been camping my whole life. I was widowed at 31, my 1st husband and I drove coast to coast semi-truck, and we didn’t do much camping, due to time constraints. After his death, I moved back to the midwest from CA, with my 2 kids. I got back into camping, and haven’t stop since. I remarried at 40, and he had never camped, but because he loved us, he gave it a shot. It took me a few years to figure out why his heart wasn’t in it, and I told him I wouldn’t drag him along anymore, he was relieved! Me too! You see, he enjoys staying at home, in his familiar surroundings. He enjoys going to visit family that live 3-4 hrs away, and stay at their house. Where as I would rather stay at a nearby motel or campground; my family or his. I like camping for the solitude, he hates it for that reason. When the kids left home, I still ‘needed’ to go camping, so I went alone. The first couple times were very different, and let me tell you ... people have lots to say about a woman camping alone. But, I don’t care, I enjoy it and will continue. I’ve been tenting it for a few years, cause my car is too small to pull the pop-up. The pop-up has now become our seasonal backyard camper for friends to camp in. And I have a small ALiner to camp in, which is prefect. My husband has some early dementia issues, and even if the pandemic wasn’t keeping him home, that’s where he likes to be .. his garage, his dog, familiar neighbors and surroundings. So, maybe your husband just doesn’t have a wandering spirit, and that’s ok. Come camping with me.
Good for you! And sorry to hear about your husband's dementia issues. That is a really tough thing for him and for you to experience. Best wishes.
 

maybc

Member
Aug 7, 2018
12
we go camping with my black son and asian daughter (who looks v masculine) and have neevr had a problem. obvi, the dynamic w kids is different than it is w adults. that said, sounds like he doesn't want to camp, like there are different associations in barbados. i would respect that. maybe there are other things you could share -- or you could trade experiences that the other person may be hesitant about?
 

AfterAll

Member
Mar 4, 2020
41
I'm a bi-racial person, and I tell you, I have met the greatest people camping. Here is my philosophy on camping. 1/ Some people camp to avoid socializing...they want to decompress from the outside world. It's nothing against you if they are distant...they really want to be alone or focus in on their own family that they don't get to spend a ton of time with during the week. 2/ If you focus on what people MIGHT think about you camping and let your imagination go wild, then you will assume it is true. 3/ Be respectful and others will respect you. I believe that 99% of folks you meet camping are really good people just wanting to get away like you are. If you smile and wave at people in the campground as you go by, they will do the same back. Even if they don't know you, they think you are friendly...which you probably are. :) Happy travels!!!
 

Toedtoes

Super Active Member
May 28, 2018
2,840
California
Just to clarify: California does have rasicm. A lot of it. Even in the big cities. Don't assume that because the OP is in California that there is no need to be concerned about racism.

For the OP, who I hope hasn't been chased away by some responses, I would choose campgrounds a bit carefully until he can get comfortable with camping itself.

I say this a lot here, but it holds true: stay away from low elevation reservoir campgrounds in hot weather. They tend to get a much greater proportion of large groups of rowdy drunk campers. They are the most likely type to be a problem as they get their "bravado" from the alcohol and the group mentality.

Pick small campgrounds up in the mountains. Those are mostly occupied by solo, couple and family campers. They are far less likely to be a problem.

For his dislike of the actual camping part, talk to him and see what compromises you could make. Maybe more "comforts of home" instead of cooking on a fire stuff. This is the great thing about campers, you can go as glamp or as primitive as you want.
 

rsdata

Active Member
Oct 3, 2011
319
N. KY
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us.

You mention MANY A REASON... the one reason of dealing with small minded people while camping should really NOT be a reason... campers fall into two categories... loners, out in the country to get away from people, and friendly folk. SMALL MINDED people rarely camp. I have never run into one.
 

poppy65

Member
May 10, 2015
77
My boyfriend has listed many a reason why camping is not for him, among that list is that we are a biracial couple. Can any other couple relate to fears of dealing with small minded people? He’s afraid of people bothering us. I told him gay, biracial, all kinds of couples camp and travel the country with no issues...your thoughts?
My wife and I full timed for a while and we met a few biracial couples. Never noticed any resentment toward them. You cant let that hold you back. You can run into that anywhere.
 
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