We are having a 40th.....I mean 29th Birthday party for my wife this summer. It will be a BBQ at my house. This isn't a surprise party so my Lori knows about it but she isn't planning it. We are getting ready to send out the invitations. Previously Lori and I discussed putting something like " In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to a charity" We were probably going to go with a peanut allergy charity since our son is allergic to peanuts. It has been brought up that asking for a donation to a charity is tacky. My thoughts are that asking for a donation to the "Lori spa day" is tacky. Asking for a donation to a charity is a selfless act that is very honorable. What do you think?