JOKE Of the Day (Clean)

Discussion in 'Jokes And Campfire Stories / Songs' started by armyguy, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. armyguy

    armyguy US [USA]

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    A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

    A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.

    We all looked at each other and another customer asked,

    "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
    She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine,
    I have lost it and need a new one."
    She replied that she did not know exactly what it was,
    but this piece had always been there.
    The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen
    and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.
    She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.
    He then took her over to another car which had its hood up
    and asked "Is there a 710 on this car?"

    She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."
    If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here <http://www.hotautoweb.com/cogifs/710.jpg>

    68 SFC Anderson Dan
    70 Toni
    88 Ashley
    93 Elizabeth
    01 Zoe (Bichon)
    05 TOYOTA 4Runner 4.7L V8 VVTi Tow package <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle">
    05 Flagstaff 208 <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">
    "You do not have to lead by hitting people over the head,- thats assault of leadership" (Gen. Dwight D Eisenhower)
     
  2. Girl-Trapped

    Girl-Trapped New Member

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    That's good!

    A blonde, brunette, and red-head walk into a bar. The brunette steps up and asks the bartender if she could have a C L. Without hesitation, the bartender turns around to the cooler, grabs a bottle and mug, then hands them to the brunette and says, "Here you go. A Coors Light."

    The red-head asks the bartender for a D M V. The bartender begins mixing a few ingredients together in a shaker, strains it into a glass, and says, "Here you go. A Dry Martini with Vodka."

    The blonde inquires of the bartender if she could get a fifteen. He pauses for a moment, looks behind the bar for any clues as to what she would like, and finally says, "I'm sorry ma'am, I'm just not familiar with a fifteen. Could you help me out?"

    To which the blonde replies, "DUH. . .It's a 7 and 7!"

    01 Jayco Heritage Laurel
    04 Pilot EXL-NAV
    One wife
    Three daughters
    Big dreams
     
  3. John L

    John L New Member

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    Here's one for you!

    Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.


    The first hunter says, "Wow, that’s some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?”
    The second hunter says, "I don't know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
    The first hunter says, "There’s an old car transmission. Here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see”.
    So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them.

    As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole, and with no hesitation, and jump in head first. While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. “Say there”, says the farmer, “You fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”


    The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hunert miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!”


    And the old farmer said; "Why that’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!”

    John & Kitty (Empty Nesters)<img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_camping.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Camping">
    '02 Coleman Cottonwood <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">

    http://community.webshots.com/user/VTWoody
    '97 Silverado X-Cab Stepside <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle">
     
  4. freepopup

    freepopup New Member

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    What to you have if a blond holds a set of drink glasses over her ears?




    A telescope

    1996 GMC Jimmy <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle"> 1983 Coleman <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">
    1 wife <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Smile"> 2 kids <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Smile"> <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Smile">
     
  5. jushavnfun

    jushavnfun New Member

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    How do you tell a 1st year camper, a 2nd year camper, and a 3rd year camper?

    1st yr. camper....when sitting around the campfire eating, a bug lands on their dinner plate, they see it and politely set their plate down and are done eating.


    2nd yr. camper....when sitting around the campfire eating a bug lands on their dinner plate, they see it, scoop that section of food off their plate and continue eating.


    3rd yr. camper....when sitting around the campfire eating, a bug lands on their dinner plate, they see it, stir it in and continue eating.


    Soups on come and get it <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Big Smile">

    Marty & Elizabeth
    Proud owners of our vintage PUP, "Riff Raff"

    To ALL who have, or are serving... Thank You and Welcome Home!
     
  6. mercman

    mercman Go Ahead, Be That Happy Camper!

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    <BLOCKQUOTE id=quote><font size=1 face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote> And the old farmer said; "Why that’s impossible, I had him chained to a transmission!” <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote></font id=quote><font face="Verdana,Arial,Helvetica" size=2 id=quote>

    <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_lol.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Laugh Out Loud"><img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Big Smile"><img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Big Smile"><img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_lol.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Laugh Out Loud"> That was funny,

    01 f-150 <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle"> 07 Rockwood 1980, <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">
    Nights Camped 2007 ~ 19
     
  7. NYgranny

    NYgranny New Member

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    jushavinfun, How many boyscouts do you know? I'm related to a few, and that sure sounds familiar! Thanks for the laugh!

    Barb

    GRAMMY (me) '48
    DH '49
    '04 Starcraft2409
     
  8. jushavnfun

    jushavnfun New Member

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    NYgranny...A few.... but this was from a pilot at the airport I work by.

    Marty & Elizabeth
    Proud owners of our vintage PUP, "Riff Raff"

    To ALL who have, or are serving... Thank You and Welcome Home!
     
  9. Bobbie Scott

    Bobbie Scott New Member

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    HI, here's one our preacher told in church last Sunday:
    Farmer Brown had the nagginest wife in the county. She nagged from the time she got up and even in her sleep. So, after awhile, Farmer Brown got tired of hearing her, and he got the mule hitched up and would start plowing early in the morning, and would not even stop for lunch, and he worked that old mule so hard. One day, wife came out to the field, said she fixed some lunch, and was missing him, so she wanted to eat with him. Just as they started eating, the nagging started. Farmer Brown got up, and was fixing to hitch up the mule, when the old mule kicked out hitting wife in the head, killing her. Now at the visitation for the funeral, all the neighbors were coming by to see Farmer Brown, and all the ladies would bend over say something to him, he would smile and nod his head. The husbands would bend over, say something and he would frown and shake his head. So the preacher was noticing this and finally decided he was just too curious as to what was being said. Preacher goes over, askes Farmer Brown what the ladies were saying when he would smile and nod his head. He told him, they were just saying how pretty wife looked, and he nodded, she does look so pretty. The men were just asking if he would sell the mule....... nuff said. UH UH. Nope.

    DW Bobbie / DH Sonny
    1993 Coleman Destiny/ 2000 GMC Jimmy
     

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