Life Just Kinda Sucks Right Now

Discussion in 'The Other Stuff' started by Bigantlers, Jun 18, 2020.

  1. JohnWI

    JohnWI Member

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    Sorry and God bless...
    C19 is making everyone lonely and stir crazy. Keep posting and staying "involved" as it's too easy to let things spiral in your own mind.
     
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  2. CampingFamily1

    CampingFamily1 Well-Known Member

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    Bigantlers, very sorry to hear about your grief and loss. Praying for you, your kids, and your ex.
     
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  3. Karen Gay

    Karen Gay Member Silver Supporting Member

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    BigAntlers, sorry for your troubles ☹️ I was divorced with two small kids and made a point to take them camping on my own in my small car with a tent. A lot of women didn’t do that back in the ‘80’s, but I stayed true to who I was and what I believed was right to teach my kids. They’re now in their mid-thirties with families of their own, and they’re all avid campers! I grew up camping, so did my kids, so are their kids- you can do the same. Whether it’s in a MH, TT, PUP, or pup tent, it will make lasting memories and teach valuable life lessons. Best of luck to you and your family.
     
  4. RockyRoo

    RockyRoo Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD

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    Jeez, I kinda feel like we need to have a Lucas County Divorce Court Support Group meeting at HLSP this weekend! Unfortunately I am leaving tomorrow. Would have been fun to meet some of you. Who knew there were so many local portal members to meet
     
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  5. Bigantlers

    Bigantlers Active Member

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    Thanx for the invite! I'm down here in Toledo so not sure I'll be able to take you up on it. Although, I want to get up to Copper Harbor to do some biking within the next year or two!
     
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  6. Bigantlers

    Bigantlers Active Member

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    I am truly sorry to hear that. Last weekend (Father's Day weekend) she refused to give me the kids for my visitation. It is the latest in a string of false allegations that includes a criminal accusation that I have to fight. Access to my kids is the harshest button she can push.

    The best coping mechanism I have found for this is reminding myself that she is suffering the same heartache I am and that her inability to cope with the fear and anger is causing her to react like this. Very challenging but it helps my psyche.
     
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  7. RockyRoo

    RockyRoo Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD

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    Document document document, and make sure you have the better lawyer. Lucas County family Court is already far too biased, don't give her any more advantage. You deserve your time and certainly deserve your holidays. Don't be afraid to show up with the cops when it is your time and get a copy of the report
     
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  8. Arlyn Aronson

    Arlyn Aronson Well-Known Member

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    I sorta agree,,, but you could also spend the rest of your life fighting and paying off attorney's. Somewhere along the way, we all need to ask ourselves "is this worth the $$$$ and anguish". Be smart and only fight over things worth the grief.
     
  9. RockyRoo

    RockyRoo Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD

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    Having time with your kids when being illegally denied IS worth fighting for.
     
  10. Sjm9911

    Sjm9911 Well-Known Member Gold Supporting Member

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    I will say , hang in there. The lawers will eat up the money. And when the money is gone they will say its time to settle on an agreement. It does suck, i will not lie. Just dont always belive what they say. And document as stated, keep a journal of custudy and refusal. There isnt much you can do before a court date if you cant work it out yourselves. First think is first the other court date. Tell her if you get in trouble then your income might get effected. Pm me if you want need advice. It took me 3 years to get full custody of my daughter. And a crap load of money.
     
  11. Grandpa Don

    Grandpa Don Well-Known Member

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    Wow! Here's my story. So many of us here have been through this. Those that have know what you are going through. I went through a divorce in 1982 after 13 years and 4 kids of marriage. I never remarried. It just wouldn't have felt right. My wife was also cheating on me, but I still did not want a divorce. Not for the kids sake. All 4 kids wanted to live with me. But the all knowing Judge decided to split them up as well. The two young ones (2 and 6 years old) had to go with the mother. While the boys, (10 and 8) got to live with me. My wife and her new husband, did I mention that they "Had" to get married, had problems from day one. It was torture for the two kids she took. They moved and relocated the kids 9 times in 8 years. They divorced once and then got married again. After her first divorce from him she could not handle them and her husband any longer. So she let them come live with me. Then she wanted the kids back. But the kids wanted nothing to do with her or him and refuse to go. I raised them from that point on.

    To this day the kids are still very angry with her. Her new husband was an alcoholic and after the second divorce he moved to Arizona and eventually died alone in a hotel room. She now lives in a small 900 square foot house all alone and is very miserable. She lives in the same town as three of our kids, and they rarely go to see her. They are still angry. I am still very close to all of them. We go fishing, camping and even take long vacations together. They are all grown up now and even have kids of their own. Oh, and did I mention that her one son that she had with him is now a drug addict, alcoholic, and homeless living on the streets. My kids tell me all the time that they were very happy living with me. I was always taking them places and doing things with them. They loved it.

    So hang in there. Don't do anything that will turn your kids against you. You will need them in your older years. I'm now 74 years-old and my kids are my life. The next couple of years will undoubtedly be tough for you. Lawyers love cases like this. They can make a lot of money playing the court game. Get it over with as quickly as you can, but fight as best you can for your kids and your rights. There will be better days ahead. And what ever material items you lose, you can replace. One other thing. Your feeling and emotions will also be very vulnerable in the coming months. Don't think you are in love with the first pretty lady that shows you some attention. There are plenty of wonderful women out there that are going through the same thing you are going through. Give it time!
     
  12. Fish N Farm

    Fish N Farm Active Member

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    This sends sadness to my heart. 9-11-11 My X got mad because her 36 year son came to our house after his 3rd DUI in 4 months wasted on coke read the rights to our daughter about not taking care of her son and I tried to get him to shut up and he kept on and I told he he had to leave of course the stuff hit the fan. She decided she was moving out right then and there. I mean I was devastated. We had been married 33 years and our home was 3 years from payoff. I was 61 at that time. Thinking about starting over at that age scarred me to death. In the mean time the skin on my feet was so rough my feet were shredding the sheets on the bed and I had to replace at least one set every month. My daughter said I need to get a pedicure of course a red neck commie killing mo fo ain't going for getting his toes done. But she kept after me and I made an appointment to get it. Of course all those ladies are Asian around here and I was stand offish about them because several people I knew did not make it back from Nam. Any way I got my toes done and come to find out this woman was going thru the same crisis that I was. I had such a bad attitude about women in general I have no idea how she put up with me long enough to get to know me. But she did and the rest is history. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I bought an off road teardrop that we used a few times and it was just to hard for me to get in and out. She wanted a/c and be able to keep it in our garage. So we have a Flagstaff 228BHSE. Any way don't give up on life. I never dreamed I could be so happy. She takes very good care of me and I her. She doesn't even drive on the freeway. Hang in there and I promise something good will fall into your lap when you least expect it.

    Richard
     
  13. 1380ken

    1380ken Well-Known Member

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    Welcome
     
  14. Arlyn Aronson

    Arlyn Aronson Well-Known Member

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    Nice to have you here with us Richard! Do post in the introduction section sometime.
     
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  15. Fish N Farm

    Fish N Farm Active Member

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  16. Fish N Farm

    Fish N Farm Active Member

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    Big Antlers are you hanging in there today? You may not really believe this but I think there are a lot of people that answered this post that really care about you. I have never answered anything like this before in my life. But, your story really touched my heart and I saw you facing the same situation I faced 9 years ago. Yes I could have did better. I knew nothing about by polar people. I always said this about her. (When she was right nothing was better and when she was off nothing was worse) I don't know if that is what you lived with and didn't know like me. There were times when she beat me home from work and I saw her car in the driveway I would drive around the neighbor hood for a while getting up the nerve to open the door. I felt that I never knew what I would be facing. For years I had to listen to how every friend or relative of hers husband made bigger money than me or they traveled all the time. I love to travel, I take all the back roads that I can. If I see something I want to look at I pull over and go in. I love old hardware stores and things like that. I don't like flying unless it is a private puddle jumper. My eyes aren't good enough to see anything from way up there except walking circular sprinklers. But anyway like the song says "Thank God and Grey Hound she is gone. I promise you your kids are smarter than you think. They may be fooled early on by your X but they will see thru all that stuff pretty quick. I had rather walk down the road farming aluminum with a back pack on my back with my current wife than ride in a 600 hp diesel Freightliner MH with the X and believe me I have driven some big cars with big engines.

    So hang in there big guy. Don't get stupid with your self, you get mad and make a bunch of threats it will hurt your cause. When I look back I think the biggest hurt for me was the slap in the face that she chose a delinquent son over me and a daughter that has never been in trouble for anything. Who ever she thinks she needs will be gone as soon as the new wares off of the you know what that wont look so appealing.

    That being said hold your head up, never let them seem you sweat. 90% of the things we worry about either don't really matter or we have no control of any way. From my career in racing" When the green flag drops the BS stops"
     
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  17. lynnmarie0123

    lynnmarie0123 Active Member

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  18. BillyMc

    BillyMc Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear this. Divorce SUX, no matter what it changes whole lives. Was bitter for years, but at peace with it now. I accepted Christ and learned I need to pray for those that harm me. It takes time, but praying for them and letting go of the anger and bitterness lifts a huge weight from your chest. Find that calming place where you can be at peace and go there every chance you get. For me it was fishing at the river. Go to or find your support person. Venting in a forum can also be helpful.
     
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  19. Alan

    Alan Active Member

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    Sharing yourself is very important...it can help others as well as yourself.
     

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