Loaning PUP - Help needed

Discussion in 'General Camping Discussion Forum' started by Dandelion, Jun 20, 2010.

  1. sd102

    sd102 New Member

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    I don't know if you really have OCD or you were joking, but either way, the cure is to FACE YOUR FEARS. I say let him borrow it, even though you may be a nervous wreck. And when he returns it and it's just fine, you'll see that you had nothing to worry about. This may actually help you! I have certain fears/OCD type behavior myself, but when I overcome that fear and suffer through it, I find that I got through it fine and it really wasn't as bad as I thought. I think your anxiety is worse than the actual event. Am I making any sense here [?:~{]

    So basically, I say, let your BIL borrow your pup. After all, they are your family, and pup is just a posession.
     
  2. kurtes

    kurtes Reno, NV

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    Have it open and be cleaning it when he comes to borrow it, make sure he sees how spotless it is and the great shape it's in and make sure he knows it's your "baby".
    Show him how to set it up and tear it down and then cross your fingers. Then make reservations for every weekend from now until 2012!
     
  3. nhcaveman

    nhcaveman Barrington, NH

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    [SIZE=x-large]Awesome idea![/SIZE]
     
  4. yogi

    yogi New Member

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    I agree with what everyone say's, plus I would have his kids come over during the set up and take down instructions, and explain all the rules to them. i.e. no jumping on the bunks and seats, try not to slam the door, etc. etc. maybe tell them some of the things they can do to help with the setup and take down, make them a part of the process so they can feel useful and more respectful of your property. [;)]
     
  5. fallsrider

    fallsrider Active Member

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    That's a tough spot to be in. So far, I have told my DW's cousin and DW's sister "No." I think a lot of them both, but they don't have towing experience or a proper TV.

    But in your case, with a family member like that, I would be hard pressed to say no. If he's that handy and that great of a guy, I would probably let him. But as someone else has mentioned, what kind of towing experience does he have? That's a biggie.
     
  6. Dandelion

    Dandelion New Member

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    Thank you all for the responses. When I first read through the posts, I tried really hard to get on board, but now am having second thoughts.

    He's in construction (concrete), so he's very used to towing trailers to and from his job site.

    Again, I do really want to help him out. Like someone said - I would give someone a ride, pay for a rental car, baby sit their kids/pets.
    DH and I had discussed a no borrowing policy when we bought the pup last year, but when we were put on the spot by BIL, we sort of caved. --DH is very easy going and would let just about anyone borrow anything. I guess opposites attract ;)

    Someone asked if I was kidding about the OCD (I know people joke) but I''m not. Thinking about someone borrowing the pup would drive me bonkers until the end of the July when he wants it. And, IF something happened, it would take a lot of therapy to let it go. I totally get the idea of it's a just a possession. Logically, this is so true! Ugh! Again, I don't have problem talking about my OCD, but I've found many to think I'm just rude when I try to express my hang ups.

    What do you think about offering to pay for them to rent a pup??? I don't know the cost and money is tight, but might this be an option to avoid hurt feelings? Would you accept that offer?

    Thanks again everyone!
    Jennifer
     
  7. Full Circle

    Full Circle Greely, Ontario, Canada

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    I wouldn't accept an offer like that (money for a rental). Its your pup and you need to do what makes you happy, or at the very least not "DRIVE YOU BONKERS". He's family. He knows about your OCD? If he's as "wonderful a BIL" as you mentioned, he should understand the grief this WOULD and HAS already caused you.
     
  8. edmonton_camper

    edmonton_camper Loving it.

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    I think your intentions are good if you offered to pay for a rental but if I was him I might feel a little hurt that you didn't trust me enough to loan me your pup.
    He sounds very responsible and helpful to you and your family.
    It would be a different issue if he was known for being careless in similar circumstances.
    You trust him enough to help on work around the house then you should trust him with this.
    I understand about OCD. My last girlfriend had the same thing. No matter how many people tell you that your fear is illogical it is still a very real fear in your mind.

    I think the bottom line is that you need to decide if the very small possibility of him damaging your PUP and not loaning it to him is worth damaging what sounds like a good relationship with him.

    If you do decide not to loan it to him I highly recommend sitting down with him one on one and explaining your OCD to him. I'm pretty sure he would understand and appreciate the one on one chat that you took the time to explain things to him.
     
  9. eve104

    eve104 Ol'Bessie

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    I think that he would see right through it.. I am a bit OCD as well but not about the pup. I would talk to your BIL and explain your situation, ask if he would be okay with camping close by so your can set up and take down for him. You must understand that at any time he could say no to any request you have in the future for assistance and you will need to be able to accept that. His feelings may not be hurt but he may just not be as available to assit you. Either way you have nothing to lose. If you talk to him and explain how you feel he may get upset, if you say no he might get upset, if you offer to pay for a rental he might get upset. only way he wont have a problem is if you allow him to use it, and then you will be upset. you have to decide what is more important.
     
  10. Oski88

    Oski88 New Member

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    No offense but did you worry about the inconvenience the BIL might incur when the PUP when was stored at his place?

    Under normal circumstances I'm in the 'don't loan the pup to others' crowd. But I think an exception needs to be made here considering how they have helped you.

    And think of this - maybe this experience will inspire the BIL to buy one of his own, then you don't have to worry about loaning it anymore.
     
  11. Oski88

    Oski88 New Member

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    I understand that your intentions are good but I think it will come off poorly - he's good enough to work on your house but not good enough to use your pup type of thing.
     
  12. themanfromvan

    themanfromvan Van, PA - Near The PA Wilds

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    I've always had a 'zero tolerance' policy as far as loaning my pop up. But, given your circumstances - I'd probably say 'yes'. I would just stress, "Please be careful with my baby."
     
  13. outdoorsnga

    outdoorsnga Marietta, Georgia USA

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    I feel for you. I always shudder at the thought of someone using one of our vehicles. But if someone needs one and they ask I let them use. And sometimes even if they dont ask if I know they need one, I make the suggestion.... Thats what lifes all about, helping other people when they are in need. On the other hand....I would never ask to borrow anything from anyone............and my pup...........now thats another story......no way no how....but if one of realitives or our son ask.....its theirs....I would just have to live with it.....deep down inside I wouldnt like it....and just a little I would enjoy the idea of someone enjoying our pup too....so what do you do...roll with the flow.....lifes too short to get too uptight over such matters.......also...i did learn many years ago that if someone you know ask to borrow something and you dont want to let them.....say no right then when they ask...it is much less stressful to just be up front....I usually tell them that I will help them do what they are doing and I will use whatever they are wanting to borrow......we had moved in a new house once and less than a week later next door neighbor cutting his grass and mower quit...he came over and asked to borrow mine.....nope, but I cranked mine up and I finished cutting his yard. Two weeks later I came home and our front yard was cut and trimmed very nicely. Wife said neighbor came over and used his new mower on our yard.....he was cutting his backyard, so I fixed two big glasses of ice tea and took over and we sat and talked for a few minutes after I thanked him for cutting our yard. But he never asked to borrow another thing in 11 years.
    good luck.
     
  14. jim1999

    jim1999 New Member

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    While I can't speak for your area around here pups typically rent out at between $50-$100 per day depending on the pup and the features it has.
     
  15. Twisty

    Twisty New Member

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    There is nothing, absolutely nothing that cannot be cleaned, repaired or replaced if something does go sideways.
    Let them use it.
    It is a thing.
    They make them everyday.
    They will be making them for a long time.
    So what if it comes back with a scratch or ding or tear? Seeing that scratch, ding or tear will remind you of the fun they had and how good you felt giving back to the ones you love who have done so much for you.
     
  16. Tentless

    Tentless New Member

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    IMHO I think lending the trailer to someone like him(someone you know well) will be more helpful to U then him in that it will take you a big step forward controlling your OCD(which I never doubted).

    My personal policy is lend anything anytime(i like your DH) as long as I am not using it at that time - but you better be willing to reciprocate when I need something. I have even offered my PUP to my boss - he laughed - "me camping"

    Anyway - again - I think you should do this for you and not for him -- good luck.

    Cheers
     
  17. You-And-I

    You-And-I Ozarks Ɯberland Basecamp

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    I guess I'm an Ogre,

    I don't think twice if someone ask if they can borrow tools, lawnmower or if they need a helping hand on a project. But when it comes to our Jeep, camping gear, trailer, etc., that's another subject. I think because we have worked hard to be able to purchase the gear we want, so that when time allows us to get away, we have everything we need to be comfortable. I don't know how big your family is, but I think if you start to lend your camper out to a family member your going to set a precedence. The next thing you know, another family member will be requesting to use your camper on a family vacation for a week. I think you and your husband had a good idea on the NO LEND OUT RULE that you had originally discussed when you purchased the camper. You worked hard to get the trailer that you wanted and I'm sure you even work harder to keep it nice. So give yourself peace of mind and say NO, we (You & your husband) made a decision when we purchased the camper that we would not lend it out. I'm sure, he would understand.

    Just my [2C]
     
  18. Xolthrax

    Xolthrax Franconia, Pa.

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    I feel for you.

    In reading through the responses (all very good ones, I might add), I can see that no one has or can empathise with OCD.

    I don't suffer from OCD (even a little, just ask my wife), but I know someone who does. Things that I consider trivial, she might consider irreconsilable. We poke fun at each other all the time.

    I can appreciate that your concerns are not only real, but deeply serious. Otherwise, you would never have started this post. IMHO, your best bet is to try to educate your BIL to your disorder. He may not fully understand it, but I'm sure that it would give him some guidance, and help him to overcome any feelings that you were ungrateful for his help.

    Also, it may be therapudic for you. Guaranteed, things won't come back exactly as the left. What you'll need to decide is if the changes were "reasonable for most people" or not. That may help you learn how to cope.
     
  19. johnny5

    johnny5 Guest

    Maybe if you feel like you "have to" and don't want to lend out your baby.. Explain why you dont want to then offer to pay for a couple days for him to rent one... Could be your way of "paying him back" for all his help if it makes you feel better it may be worth the $100 just my [2C]
     
  20. edmonton_camper

    edmonton_camper Loving it.

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    I agree completely. That's why I said pretty much what you just said.
     

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