Murphy's Laws of Camping

Discussion in 'Jokes And Campfire Stories / Songs' started by Dusty82, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. Dusty82

    Dusty82 Active Member

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    Ok, I know somebody has undoubtedly already come up with something like this, but typing up some more irritations inspired me to sit and type this up. I know they're most likely not very original, but they came to mind in one sitting. Add your own! I'm sure everyone here can add at least a half a dozen based on our collective camping experiences...

    Murphy’s Laws of Camping



    1.) The number of times it takes you to successfully back your trailer into your campsite is directly proportional to how many people are watching you do it at the time.

    2.) Waterproof matches will light under any weather condition except under clear blue skies, on a calm day, with the temperature in the mid 70s.

    3.) The best campsite in the park is always the one right next to you.

    4.) Wind velocity will increase based on how many matches you have left in the book when you try to light the fire, or how many paper plates you’ve laid out.

    5.) Your extension cord will either be a foot too short, have the wrong end on it, or be missing altogether when it comes time to hook up.

    6.) Everything you carefully packed to go camping will have magically doubled in size when it comes time to pack it again to go home.

    7.) Yes, when you use the port-a-potty, everyone can hear you, and they’re laughing at you.

    8.) The group of campers who arrives first is always the loudest.

    9.) The group of campers who arrives last will automatically try to take that title away from the group who arrived first.

    10.) The fish will stop biting the day you get to the lake.

    11.) The mosquitoes will start biting the day you get to the lake.

    12.) When the weather forecaster says that there’s a 50% chance of rain, he means that chances are it’ll rain for 50% of the time you’re camping – and 100% of the rain will fall during the day.

    13.) Bacon and eggs cooked in a cast-iron skillet over a camp stove really DO taste better than when they’re made at home.

    14.) The likelihood that it will rain is based on whether or not you’ve just discovered a rip in the canvas roof you’re sleeping under.

    15.) How closely your DW sticks by your side for the duration of the weekend is directly proportional to the skimpiness of the bikini worn by the lady camping next to you.

    16.) Your air mattress will only spring a leak between the hours of 1am and 6am.

    17.) Your child’s inflatable swimming toys will never deflate – even if you want them to.

    18.) The only rocks larger than a walnut in the entire county will be 2 inches below the surface of the ground, and precisely where you need to drive a stake.

    19.) The item you can’t find, but desperately need, is either on the roof of your pup, in your garage, or on the kitchen table at home.

    20.) A bad week of camping is still better than a good day at work.
     
  2. bflentje

    bflentje Member

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    Cute, loved it.
     
  3. bobhcs

    bobhcs Colorado Springs

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    Nice job! [LOL]
     
  4. jcridge

    jcridge New Member

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    Great list!

    #1 is very true for me too.

    How about this:

    21. No matter where you sit around the fire the smoke will change direction in be in your face momentarily.
     
  5. outdoorxman

    outdoorxman The mountains are calling me and I must go.

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    22. Repetitive attempts to back into a spot will leave the PU in the exact same location everytime.

    23. When you think you have the coldest beer in the CG, some else will show up with a colder one.

    24. After setting up you will realize you need to close it up to move it.

    Phil
     
  6. 3pillons

    3pillons Press hard, Five copies.

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    25.) If one does experience rain during thier trip, it will be timed perfectly to ensure the packing up of a wet camper, and a soggy drive home in wet shoes.
     
  7. Dusty82

    Dusty82 Active Member

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    Heh - sounds like y'all have my luck too... [:D]

    26.) How hot your first cup of coffee in the morning is, is directly proportional to how big a swig you just took.

    27.) Anything/everything on the ground belongs to the dog! This is especially true at meal time...

    28.) No matter how carefully you try to sit down at that hot, fiberglass picnic table, your shorts WILL ride up and you'll scorch your tush.

    29.) The likelihood that you'll drop a lantern and break the mantle depends on how many spare mantles you have.

    30.) Dead, dried up pine needles are nature's perfect toothpicks.
     
  8. apachejeep

    apachejeep New Member

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    31.) As soon as you set up paper plates on the picnic table, a gust of wind will come up and blow them all over the Campground.
     
  9. Csea

    Csea New Member

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    #32 If the forcast for the weekend calls for sunshine with no chance of rain, You know that the worst storm of the summer will hit during that weekend.
     
  10. Mosbyranger

    Mosbyranger Onward, thru the fog...

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    #33-
    The fish are always biting hard on whatever you do not have in your tackle box at the time

    #34-
    As soon as you get the Awning put up, gale force winds howl into the campground

    Justa couple of things that always happen to the Mosbyrangers...
    MR
     
  11. Sweet Chariot

    Sweet Chariot New Member

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    So true. And like #10 (10. The fish will stop biting the day you get to the lake.)

    how often have I heard this...

    34. There was an unbelievable insect hatch that brought out even the huge lurker trout, but it ended just as you guys arrived at the lake.

    35. If you check your battery before you leave because you think it might need charging it will be fine, if you don't check it because you know it is fine - it will be dead
     
  12. RayT38

    RayT38 It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission

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    #33 You will commit a SPUT only when half the CG is watching you set up
     
  13. Dusty82

    Dusty82 Active Member

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    Man - it's a wonder we get out of our driveways... [:D]

    37.) It doesn't matter how many fish you catch, someone will inevitably say, "Man, you should have been here last week/month..."

    38.) The wind will always blow from the smelliest direction.

    39.) If it can roll away from you, you'll drop it - and always at the worst possible moment.

    40.) Given a choice of more than 2 "facility" stalls, men will inevitably choose the stall with the least amount of toilet paper. Women will chose the stall that's out of toilet seat covers.

    41.) The water in the facility you just showered/brushed your teeth in is pumped directly from the lake you won't swim in.
     
  14. rocketspen

    rocketspen New Member

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    ...and it will rain the hardest on the day you strike camp.
     
  15. ranger guy

    ranger guy New Member

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    Well I`m a Murphy and I understand!!!
     
  16. jeanniecamper

    jeanniecamper New Member

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    I am a Murphy Too!! I also understand!
     
  17. Dusty82

    Dusty82 Active Member

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    42.) The only anthill in the entire park is the one you just ran over when you parked your pup.

    43.) Strike Anywhere matches work on everything but the little abrasive strip on the side of the box.

    44.) Nature always sides with the hidden flaw, and no amount of duct tape can change that fact.

    45.) Pilot lights are guaranteed to go out only when they're needed the most.

    46.) The awful stench coming from the campsite next door is the smell of the dinner they invited you to earlier that day cooking.

    47.) The interior lights you installed over the winter not only let you see everything going on in the pup at night, they also let everyone outside the pup see everything going on in the pup at night.

    48.) When towing the pup on a two lane road, you will get behind the slowest moving vehicle in a 100 mile radius, and will not be able to pass for 22 miles.

    49.) "Campground Repairs" rarely last the duration of the trip and will be impossible to remove when you get home.

    50.) Anything labeled "waterproof" isn't, and you'll only discover this fact after it gets wet.
     
  18. sse70

    sse70 New Member

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    200 MILES IN THE CAR WITH THE KIDS SAYING ARE WE THERE ---ARE WE THERE YET-------ONLY TO HAVE THEM LATER SAY THERERS NOTHING TO DO---OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE WHERES MY( GAME BOY-PSP-IPOD)---GO FIGURE----AERENT THEY PRECIOUS--------LOL
     

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