My beautiful wife will no longer be camping with me...

dbhost

Super Active Member
Sep 19, 2018
1,364
League City, Texas USA.
So sorry for your loss. I can't even comprehend I watched my brother go through it with his wife at about 53. I honestly don't know how I'd move on. My brother ended up remarrying a couple years later and is back to fully happy again. Sometimes I wonder though, does he secretly still think about and miss is original soul mate?

I was in the same boat with everyone here saying they can't comprehend until it happened to my wife. And you are 100% right, you can't until you walk this path.

And for everyone it is different.

I was talking to a widow earlier today that was relieved her husband had a heart attack and passed away. He reportedly was an abusive a--hole so I get that.

My wife was the joy of my life, the good one after enduring a truly sh*tty marriage with my ex... So losing her is beyond words lousy.

I'm 53, so similar. And like your brother, not saying sweep memories away, but I am young enough I don't want to adventure the way through the rest of my life alone. And I am in a funny situation. We would talk about believing it to be a LOT of years further down the road, but she MADE me promise her I wouldn't stay single / alone should she die before me. Her mom passed away 16 years before her Dad and he was miserable being alone, she didn't want that for me.

I believe although I have no direct evidence for it, that you can still honor, and miss your late spouse, while making room for a new love and partner in your life. I don't think it is an either or situation. Honestly when I am ready to go seeking companionship again, I will probably intentionally seek out a widow as they would be the most likely to understand where I am coming from.

Mind you, I am NOT looking right now, and honestly, when I was young and single I think a woman could have thrown herself at me naked and I would not have known she was interested in me. Now. Well I have had offers for uh, companionship, that I have to respectfully decline. Something the 16 year old me would be smacking the now me upside the head for but 16 year old me was an idiot and an a**hole. Probably a good thing I couldn't tell interest at that age...

For now, I feel like there are so many unfinished things I need to do for her. The travelling she wanted to do. I must do for both of us now...
 

neighbormike

Super Active Member
Gold Supporting Member
Oct 6, 2012
4,166
WI
You do what you need to do. Take care of yourself. When the time is right, I do hope you find happiness again.
 

Oldspurs

Active Member
Jan 2, 2022
303
Central Texas
I am so sorry for your loss, Brother. I can not imagine. Your idea of taking DW's photo to all places that she loved is the best way to honor her memory. Continue on in her memory, smile to yourself each time her memory crosses your minds path. You are not alone, for her memory will remain for the rest or your life. God Bless, and keep you in the hallow of His Hands. See you on the trail.
 

kcsa75

Super Active Member
Gold Supporting Member
Sep 9, 2013
6,008
Kansas City
My condolences. You're doing to the right thing by not giving up and celebrating her every day.
 

LlamaLlama

Member
Sep 1, 2022
25
Southern California
@dbhost sorry to hear about your loss. Going camping and being out in nature after my husband passed was one thing I continued to do that helped me get through the grief. (Although, truly there is no "over" just further away from the pain in my heart!) Hope you find peace in your soul when you return to the beautiful places you made happy memories with your wife.
 

Overland

Active Member
May 1, 2013
529
Bristol, Pa
I was in the same boat with everyone here saying they can't comprehend until it happened to my wife. And you are 100% right, you can't until you walk this path.

And for everyone it is different.

I was talking to a widow earlier today that was relieved her husband had a heart attack and passed away. He reportedly was an abusive a--hole so I get that.

My wife was the joy of my life, the good one after enduring a truly sh*tty marriage with my ex... So losing her is beyond words lousy.

I'm 53, so similar. And like your brother, not saying sweep memories away, but I am young enough I don't want to adventure the way through the rest of my life alone. And I am in a funny situation. We would talk about believing it to be a LOT of years further down the road, but she MADE me promise her I wouldn't stay single / alone should she die before me. Her mom passed away 16 years before her Dad and he was miserable being alone, she didn't want that for me.

I believe although I have no direct evidence for it, that you can still honor, and miss your late spouse, while making room for a new love and partner in your life. I don't think it is an either or situation. Honestly when I am ready to go seeking companionship again, I will probably intentionally seek out a widow as they would be the most likely to understand where I am coming from.

Mind you, I am NOT looking right now, and honestly, when I was young and single I think a woman could have thrown herself at me naked and I would not have known she was interested in me. Now. Well I have had offers for uh, companionship, that I have to respectfully decline. Something the 16 year old me would be smacking the now me upside the head for but 16 year old me was an idiot and an a**hole. Probably a good thing I couldn't tell interest at that age...

For now, I feel like there are so many unfinished things I need to do for her. The travelling she wanted to do. I must do for both of us now...
So very sorry for your loss.
 

Susan Premo

Super Active Member
Nov 5, 2020
1,130
Minnesota
I was in the same boat with everyone here saying they can't comprehend until it happened to my wife. And you are 100% right, you can't until you walk this path.

And for everyone it is different.

I was talking to a widow earlier today that was relieved her husband had a heart attack and passed away. He reportedly was an abusive a--hole so I get that.

My wife was the joy of my life, the good one after enduring a truly sh*tty marriage with my ex... So losing her is beyond words lousy.

I'm 53, so similar. And like your brother, not saying sweep memories away, but I am young enough I don't want to adventure the way through the rest of my life alone. And I am in a funny situation. We would talk about believing it to be a LOT of years further down the road, but she MADE me promise her I wouldn't stay single / alone should she die before me. Her mom passed away 16 years before her Dad and he was miserable being alone, she didn't want that for me.

I believe although I have no direct evidence for it, that you can still honor, and miss your late spouse, while making room for a new love and partner in your life. I don't think it is an either or situation. Honestly when I am ready to go seeking companionship again, I will probably intentionally seek out a widow as they would be the most likely to understand where I am coming from.

Mind you, I am NOT looking right now, and honestly, when I was young and single I think a woman could have thrown herself at me naked and I would not have known she was interested in me. Now. Well I have had offers for uh, companionship, that I have to respectfully decline. Something the 16 year old me would be smacking the now me upside the head for but 16 year old me was an idiot and an a**hole. Probably a good thing I couldn't tell interest at that age...

For now, I feel like there are so many unfinished things I need to do for her. The travelling she wanted to do. I must do for both of us now...
My eldest sisters husband died at 52, gd cancer, she was lucky to have him as long as she did, she got together with a guy that I just can't like, I've tried, a lot, he's just so opinionated, anyway, she settled, but some people feel they have to, she's not my favorite person, but still she's beautiful and should've held out. So take your time, some wonderful woman will show up. Best wishes to you.
 

dbhost

Super Active Member
Sep 19, 2018
1,364
League City, Texas USA.
My eldest sisters husband died at 52, gd cancer, she was lucky to have him as long as she did, she got together with a guy that I just can't like, I've tried, a lot, he's just so opinionated, anyway, she settled, but some people feel they have to, she's not my favorite person, but still she's beautiful and should've held out. So take your time, some wonderful woman will show up. Best wishes to you.
I'm in no hurry to get in to anything new but I also know that I'm too young and I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I don't know how it would be possible for me though.

My beautiful bride was the absolute best and once you've had the best anything less just won't do.
 




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