this past saturday i lost my grandfather

Discussion in 'Best Wishes/Remembrances for Loved Ones & Friends' started by jetrail, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. jetrail

    jetrail Member

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    This past saturday i lost my grandfather who was also like my best friend , its been 2 days and i guess im going to have to learn what life is like without him, we were thick as thieves, evry saturday my wife and i would go see my grandparents and have dinner w/ them , my mom , uncle ect , then most saturdays my uncle , my buddy larry and my grandfather and i would watch boxing when it was on. my grandfather is the one who got me hooked on boxing to begin with . i guess the silver lining in this is on wenesday my uncle and i took him to the dr to have a petscan done because he has been on oxygent for years now but his shortness of breath and breathing issues had gotten worse, he was getting frequent lung infections , so on friday my mom got the results and we found out he had stage 3 lung cancer, lately i have been going to my grandparents early on saturdays to hang out w/ my grandfather so my mom could take my grandmother out to get groceries ect , i usually was there by 11:00 am on saturdays , when my mom called saturday at 10:00 i didn't think much of it but after answering she said my grandmother couldn't wake him up , evidently he was ok when my uncle left for work at 5:20 sat morning , he told my uncle bye and he would see him after work , and went back to bed and between then and 9:30 he passed away in his sleep , he was 82 and to be honest i think this was the best way for him to go being that dying of lung cancer is painful and drawn out , but im honestly hearbroken , i miss him , he was the best grandfather i could of ever had and my best friend , i know that God took him home but i just wish i could of had one more saturday w/ him . sorry to ramble on .

    Jay & Lisa
    dodge dakota & jeep wrangler
    97 coleman laredo "little wonderful"
     
  2. amyk

    amyk New Member

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    Jay----I'm sooo sorry to hear this--it's always so hard to lose someone you're close to and will miss them terribly when they're so much a part of your life.

    There's really nothing anyone can say to make you feel better--it will always hurt, but the best you can do is know that time will make it hurt a little less.

    Keep talking about him and thinking about him, and always keep him close in your mind, that way, he is truly never gone.

    I lost a parent when I was a child, and there are moments when I still cry---you never really forget and will always miss him---but to keep him close to you when you are happy is as important as grieving for him now that he's gone.

    Thankfully for him, and even you, his death was not long and painful--the best way he could go, but you have to realize that death is a part of life, and someone will grieve for you as well somewhere down the road, so be sure to stay close to your other family, especially your grandmother. Try to keep up the Saturday tradition so that she, and the rest of you--your uncles and mom too, will not be lonely

    Feel free to pm or call me anytime if you just need to cry and get it off your chest, or even yell (you're going to feel all sorts of emotions-anger, bargaining, denial, sadness) that are all completely normal, but pull close to those around you to help each other through this.

    God bless and you'll be in my prayers....Amy

    ps tell Lisa I'm sorry for her too as I'm sure she's feeling a loss as well as having to support you and your family...

    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. The just make the best of everything that they have!
    Amy 71 Brianna 94 Roxy 03 (dog)
    2001 Coleman Cheyenne, TV 2008 Nissan Titan, 08 camping nights: 35 & lots to come
    www.myspace.com/amynbri
     
  3. bburgcamper

    bburgcamper 16 weekends a year camping just isn't enough.

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    Sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a ton of great memories. One suggestion as a tribute to a great man is to help sponsor a young man who is in involved in a local boxing program. I don't know what kind of programs you have around you...just a thought. We did a scholarship fund in memory of my brother in law who we lost a couple of years ago.

    Dodge Grand Caravan
    Jayco Qwest 10x
    Nights camped 2008 7
     
  4. Big_kid

    Big_kid Virginia Beach, VA

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    Sorry to read of your loss

    Me 66, DW I value my life, DD 96, DD 00, DS 03, Starmaster 8 68, Mercury Villager 95 Chevy Astro 95
     
  5. bud121156

    bud121156 Western North Carolina

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    Sorry for your loss....thoughts and prayers for your family.
     
  6. jthomas124169

    jthomas124169 Member

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    Jay, I'm so sorry to hear you lost you grandfather. I lost my dad to lung cancer 2 years ago. We knew in advance that he was dying and was able to spend lots of time with him and say goodbye and I love you before he went, in some respects it made it easier for me when he went. My mom on the other hand died suddenly on a plane, coming home from Europe. That was one of the hardest things for me to deal with in life. How I wish I had the chance to say goodbye and to tell her I loved her.
    Grieving is a process that everyone must go through. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, everyone grieves differently. There are 5 stages in the grieving process, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is said that it takes a year to go through the grieving process. With my dad it was less and with my mom it was more. You will have good days and some bad ones, I do know that time does heal the wounds. Don't hold your feelings in, talk to someone and let them out, this helps a lot. If you ever need to talk PM me. Below is a poem that someone gave me and found comfort in.
    I'M STILL HERE
    Friend, please don't mourn for me
    I'm still here, though you don't see.
    I'm right by your side each night and day
    and within your heart I long to stay.

    My body is gone but I'm always near.
    I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
    My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
    as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

    I'll never wander out of your sight-
    I'm the brightest star on a summer night.
    I'll never be beyond your reach-
    I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.

    I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around
    and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
    I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond,
    The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

    I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring,
    The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
    I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
    and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.

    When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
    you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
    I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
    and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

    I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
    and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
    I'm the smile you see on a baby's face.
    Just look for me, friend, I'm everyplace!
    Take care Jay you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Julie(58) DD(81) 2 DGS(98)&(02) DF(42)
    I reject your reality and substitute it for my own.
     
  7. Noni

    Noni See ya' out there !

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    Jay, sorry to hear about your grandfather.

    '08 Starcraft Centennial 3606 <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">
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    see ya' out-there !
     
  8. CaliforniaPoppy

    CaliforniaPoppy California and beyond!

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    Much peace and healing to you. Sounds like you were very lucky to have him in your life. And he was lucky to have you in his.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And away we go.
    California and Beyond!
     
  9. kmh1596

    kmh1596 Wilbraham, MA

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    Jay,
    So very sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds like your grandfather certainly was a best friend to you. I agree its a great thing that he drifted off peacefully in his sleep, with no pain. I'll bet Saturdays will be hard from here on out, but he probably would want them to continue, right?

    So sorry to hear about your loss, you were blessed to have him in your life, and he was blessed to have you in his.

    Stay strong,
    Kevin

    *Kevin*
    <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp"> 2004 Rockwood 1940 LTD, <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle"> 96 Cherokee 2dr 5spd,
    Camped '08: 55 <i>and camping</i>. <font color=limegreen><b>~Our 2008 camping trips~</font id=limegreen></b>. Booked '09: 41 <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tongue">
     
  10. jetrail

    jetrail Member

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    thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers, it just really sucks, im so torn over it, on one hand im happy he didn't suffer a long drawn out death to lung cancer , and the other im heart broken, i would feel selfish to want more time w/ him because more time means going through more w/ lung cancer, but i'd be lying if i said i didn'twant just one more saturday w/ him. the funeral and everything is thursday, im just not ready to go through all this but then again what choice do i have right ? it was a blessing for him to go that peacefully , and i love him so thats what i wanted along like everyone else in my family , but i just feel pretty much lost, like lastnight i was on a boxing website i frequently visit and saw a fight thats scheduled to happen and first reaction is to grab the phone to call him to let him know , but 1/2 way through grabbing the phone you realize he's not there anymore

    Jay & Lisa
    dodge dakota & jeep wrangler
    97 coleman laredo "little wonderful"
     
  11. JoeCamper

    JoeCamper Eastern, Pennsylvania

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    Jay,
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You and Lisa are in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to give me a call.
    Joe
     
  12. banjorules

    banjorules Member

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    Jay,

    Very sorry to hear of the loss for you, Lisa and all your family.

    Bruce

    02 Travelstar 21CK & Pinky the 06 Ram MegaCab
    Camping nights - 2007 -41, 2008 - 39
    http://www.midatlanticcampers.org - Camp tnereffiD
     
  13. Cowboy Camper

    Cowboy Camper New Member

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    Jay,

    <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Sad"> I was there just last week. I just lost my last grandpa on the 7th. I have a Tribute post in this very category in fact.... look for it if you want to.

    Life is hard, ain't it? And Death is even harder... but we all have to see it someday.

    I truly hopes this helps, that I may let you know what's really keeping me to be OK with my most recent loss. Time.

    As I keep on aging (as we all do, of course) we see and experience things as time goes by. And each and every actual occurrence is just different. The occurrence in this case, is the loss of a family member. I can speak from experience that I've lost each one of my 4 grandparents, and have handled/dealt with each loss in a totally different way when it came to be from the first to the last.

    I personally, was put the most at ease with the way my Grandmother pre planned things way before she passed away last November. Instead of the regular Funeral process, she decided that cremation and a following Memorial Service would be easier on the living survivors. Oh my.... Can I ever say too much about how right she was with that plan? That was my Grandma though.. always thinking ahead.

    I know you're still torn. May you take a measure of Grace from the Lord above that you all know that he went peacefully and easily... with no physical suffering. My Grandpa just did the same thing last week.

    We all KNOW that he's a in a better place now, reunited with Grandma again... now sharing the Everlasting Eternal Life of nothing but Joy and Peace. So "Happy Together" (thinking of that Turtles song from the '60's) again.

    Time. And some Faith in our Lord above too. They will help to heal your pain my friend. As others have mentioned, feel free to PM me as well if you ever just want to vent, talk, share.... ask questions... Anything.

    We're here for ya.

    <hr><center><img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_cowboy.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Cowboy Camper"> ~ Scott.
    <sub>Profile</sub>
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  14. jjkach

    jjkach New Member

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    Sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
     
  15. John L

    John L New Member

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    Jay, I'm sorry for your loss. How fortunate you are to have known and been close with your Grandfather. One of my Grandfathers died when I was 4 and the other when I was 11.

    Our two oldest children were extremely close with my Mom and Dad who are both dead now but they really cherish those fond memories and one is 27 and the other 31 years old. They still talk about their Nanny and Paco and spending weekends with them in their camper as kids. So while you're sad now be very happy for all those great times you can carry with you forever.

    John & Kitty (Empty Nesters)<img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_camping.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Camping">
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  16. silvermickey2002

    silvermickey2002 Morris County, NJ

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    Jay, Sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

    http://community.webshots.com/user/Silvermickey
    2005 Honda Ody
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  17. Halister

    Halister New Member

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    Jay I am very sorry for your loss.

    I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

    <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp"> 2000 Flagstaff
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  18. hvac1877

    hvac1877 Old Dominion Iron Chefs Highland Springs, Va

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    Jay i am sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. It is a terrible thing to see anyone to go throught it. I was in high school and was getting ready for school and heard my grandfather up and go to the bathroom. As he entered the bathroom i heard a thud. I went in and found my grandfather laying in the bathtub out of it. Of course begin 16 and scared i got him on to the floor and call 911. They showed up and he did not want to go to the hospital but got him to go. After we got there they checked him out and found he had a tumor the size of a softball in his lung and the cancer had spread to the brain and liver. I got a hold on my mom here in VA as i lived in Illinois at the time and call my uncle who was a oncologist in Champaign and was in a FDA drug trials program. We got him transferred from Herrin ill up to him and entered into the program. At first diagnosed they gave him 3 weeks to live after my uncle got him the tumors shrunk and my grandfather lived almost 1 year to the day of diagnosed before he passed away. I cherish the times with him since him and my grandmother raised me. I still miss them both but they are always with me and in my memories. I wish i could have learned from him since he was the one who took me camping in the pop-up and fishing as a young child. They my be gone but they be never forgotten!!!!!! One day i will see them again. I have been thinking of getting a another tattoo and dedicated to my family members who have passed on. Again Jay sorry for you loss. It gets better in time and you will have some days that are bad but it will get better i promise you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

    Peter & Amy, 2008 2407 Starcraft <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_pu.gif border=0 align=middle alt="PopUp">, 2003 Dodge Ram Quad Cab 4X4 <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_suv.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Tow Vehicle"> 08 nights <img src=../Images/icons/icon_smile_camping.gif border=0 align=middle alt="Camping"> -14 2009 nights booked -7
     
  19. jco5472

    jco5472 New Member

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    very sorry to hear of your loss. we buried my Grandpa on x-mas eve 1973. worst x-mas of my life.
    but i have nothing but great memories of the best man i ever knew or probably ever will know. so again , very sorry for your loss, but with good memories, 35 years later , i feel he is still with me, and that's what a good life is all about.
     
  20. windjammer

    windjammer Rather be Camping. "All that wonder are not lost!"

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    Dear Jetrail,
    Please accept our heartfelt thoughts and prayers for the recent loss of your grandfather. We are so sorry for your loss.
    Our prayers will be with you during the difficult time for you and your family. Best regards, Ann and Lee
     

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