To Help or not to help...

Discussion in 'Campground Etiquette' started by stud muffin, Jun 2, 2019.

  1. stud muffin

    stud muffin New Member

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    at the campground we were staying at this weekend, two young families pulled up in a crew cab with a pop up. When they set up, they used the stabilizer bars to jack the camper up. They put a board to act as a chalk behind the wheels that wasn’t even an inch in diameter. They were on an incline and they didn’t level the camper so that it was slanted. Anyway I tried to mind my business, but I was stepping out of the vault toilet when one of the ladies was walking in. I asker her “first time?” She said yes. So I figured I would give them a hand. I walked up and asked the guys if they needed help. They said no. I said I only asked since the camper wasn’t level and one guy said, “It isn’t going anywhere.” I walked away. Trying to decide if it is good etiquette to offer advice, insight, help, etc...when not solicited. In this case, I was concerned for their safety and the camper. In the end, they parked the truck behind the camper (still unlevel) to keep it from rolling back? Was I out of line? Enquiring minds want to know.
     
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  2. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Well-Known Member

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    A lot depends on how you approach. Some folks approach with an "I'm an expert, let me help you" attitude that is rarely welcome.

    From your comments, I don't think you were out of line. You offered help and when they declined it, you left. I suspect after sleeping in an unlevel camper, next time they will level it. Especially if they made comments in front of their wives about "that guy who came to help because we're unlevel" - the wives will remember that and next trip they will be reminding the men to level the trailer "like that guy said". :)
     
  3. tombiasi

    tombiasi Well-Known Member

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    I will always mention safety issues. If it is made clear that my help is not wanted I leave.
     
  4. Sjm9911

    Sjm9911 Well-Known Member

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    Exactly, you can only ask , if they dont want advice, then leave. I dont sweat it, people need to learn by themselves sometimes, as longas it dosent effect me i dont push it. I was at a campground , premium site, the guy next to me pulled up with a new camper, huge all the bells and whistles, he didnt put the stablizers down. About 4 hours later , i just asked if it was normal to not have them down because on mine it needed them, he replied he was a seasoned camper ,and would get to it. He never did, it tilted back, i laughed my ass off. I hate to say it, if they dont want good advice, then they can learn by there mistakes.
     
  5. nineoaks2004

    nineoaks2004 Every meal is a picnic and every Day is a holiday

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    I usually offer, if someone needs my assistance and welcome it if I need assistance
    and most times my help is appreciated. But as stated, if they say they have it handled I leave them alone and walk away.
     
  6. tombiasi

    tombiasi Well-Known Member

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    Only once did I persist. When I used to launch rockets a mans rocket, upon return by parachute, got hung up on some HV wires. He found a piece of galvanized pipe near a shed on the property and headed toward the rocket. I told him not to do that. He told me to mind my own business. He had a boy, about 10, with him. I told him the wires had in excess of 10,000 volts on them. He said he wouldn't touch the wires. I said you are about to die right in front of your son. How much did that rocket cost? He said $15. I gave him a $20 and said I'll take the rocket so your son can keep his father. He took the $20 and left.
     
  7. Tulip

    Tulip Active Member

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    Absolutely not out of line.
    My only suggestion would have been to try to offer them your "spare" chock or piece of wood and saying you learned your lesson because you forgot yours once too - give them an easy out or an easy way to accept the help. And honestly, I'd see if I could find a way to offer to help the women who (as sexist as this sounds) are possibly more likely to accept. We had a guy back our pup in for us on our second night (first was a pull through). He watched my husband try - and on his way back from the bathroom while I was trying he offered. I was perfectly happy to let him do it in 3 minutes instead of taking me 20-200 and costing me $20,000 in divorce costs. (j/k)
     
  8. neighbormike

    neighbormike Well-Known Member

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    It never hurts to offer assistance. Personally, I wait to be asked before getting in someone else's business. I prefer watching and listening to the "learning experience" lol.
     
  9. jmkay1

    jmkay1 2004 Fleetwood/Coleman Utah

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    I would have done exactly as you have done except give them my spare chock and just left especially after they refused assistance or your 2cents. Some people only like to learn from the knock of hard life.
     
  10. stud muffin

    stud muffin New Member

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    I actually brought one of my chocks to offer and both wives said they needed help. It was just the young, strong husband who wasn't interested so I walked away.
     
  11. stud muffin

    stud muffin New Member

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    Thanks everyone! I don't want to ruin someone's trip by being intrusive and then having to be a neighbor they have to look at every day. At the same time, I want to be a good neighbor.
     
  12. silvermickey2002

    silvermickey2002 Morris County, NJ

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    There are to many people in this world that take offense to anything and I try to steer clear of that. So, if they ask I will offer my assistance.
     
  13. CampingFamily1

    CampingFamily1 Active Member

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    Almost all people who camp are relational and we enjoy helping them.

    Sometimes there are people with significant relational or emotional challenges. There might be possible evidence of past or current physical, emotional, or relational abuse.

    When we started camping, I gathered a list of ideas on campground etiquette at this link, but some day I would like to re-edit it all after some years of reflection.
     
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  14. silvermickey2002

    silvermickey2002 Morris County, NJ

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    Hmmm, you haven't been in the Northeast have you? Especially the NYC, northern NJ area! [LOL]
    Just drive on the highways during rush hour (AM and PM) and you will understand why I tend to not approach folks who need help!
     
  15. CampingFamily1

    CampingFamily1 Active Member

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    Made me laugh! Yes, every region has plenty of people with issues. And sometimes I'm one of them. Laughter is good medicine. Sometimes we just watch from afar to see what will happen when we can't help. Then it turns out we ourselves do something weird. What's up with that?
     
  16. Fuzzy Bear

    Fuzzy Bear Active Member

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    You did the right thing in offering your help and I applaud you for it. A couple years ago the DW and I were in a campground and into the next site pulls 2 cars with 5 young girls who proceeded to pull out 2 new in the box tents. We were already set up and sitting outside with a cup of coffee just enjoying the quiet. As I watched them set up I had to chuckle to myself as they would set up a pole then all 5 would grab the instructions and re-read them. I asked if they needed any assistance and they said they would figure it out. They answered nicely so I told them if they needed anything let me know. They did finally get them set up and went about their business. Later as we were cooking dinner over the fire I noticed they were trying to start a fire with a couple whole logs with a bunch of newspaper underneath. They would set the newspaper on fire and it would burn until it went out. I mentioned the whole logs probably wouldn't catch just from the newspaper and grabbed a couple of Firestarter bricks and my hatchet. Went over and showed them how to cut the logs up using the hatchet and then put one of the bricks in and lit it. They said they wanted to see if they could get it started themselves so I went back to our site. They eventually did get it started and were able to cook their dinner. Later as the DW and I sat there enjoying the last of the fire they came over with some coffee cake and offered us some. Had a nice visit and I mentioned that I assumed it was their first time camping. They said yes but never thought it would be this difficult. I told them it get's easier with practice. The next day we were leaving and I asked if they were staying another night. When they said yes I told them they were welcome to the firewood we didn't use along with a nice pile of kindling. As we were pulling out they yelled at us to wait, and told me I must have forgotten a new package of Firestarter bricks with the wood I left. I told them I didn't forget and they would find starting a fire much easier with them and told them to have a great time.

    So the moral of this long story is that it is never a bad thing to offer help to people who appear to need it. Then it's up to them if they want it or not.
     
  17. CampingFamily1

    CampingFamily1 Active Member

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    Backing in seems to be the most stressful part of the camping trip for many. Sometimes we offer people our walkie talkies that we use for backing in. They work great. Hand waving furiously and yelling unintelligible words, doesn't. But often by the time they apparently need the walkie talkies, they are so worked up in an emotional frenzy it only adds insult to injury that they haven't got it together like a pro. It seems people get so interested in showing off how good they are at backing in, they forget its ok to be a beginner, and accept help, especially with a big long travel trailer hooked up to a big pickup. The husband can resort to just yelling louder at his dear wife until the atmosphere is so sour the only thing you can do is to try to ignore it all to reduce the obvious over reaction to what was just a small embarrassment. We just have to wait it out until the air clears and something good happens, then we can come in to help when they are feeling better.
     
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  18. neighbormike

    neighbormike Well-Known Member

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    ^^ Usually comes right after a loud "crunch" [LOL]
     
  19. Aladin Sane

    Aladin Sane I'd rather be camping

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    I rarely give advice unsolicited, but lately, my wife has been on a kick of not even making a recommendation when some one asks our opinion. She has had a couple people come back and complain about some aspect of the recommendation, so her thought is they cant complain if we dont offer an opinion.
     
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  20. crackerJack

    crackerJack Well-Known Member

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    This is an interesting topic.

    Typically I don’t offer unsolicited help. When someone asks for help, I will usually oblige.

    I myself am usually very prepared. If something does go wrong, I will ask for help. So I assume that if someone else needs help they will ask.

    What about the people that do not prepare because they are lazy and will not hesitate to ask for help, favors and supplies? Panhandlers?
     
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